Diary~
table of contents
September 17, 2024
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
i dont think im meant for this.
i think i know too much.
i think i think too much.
i grew up too fast and too slow.
time moves like the waves of the sea, swallowing me whole.
am i in too deep now?
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
i dont think im meant for this.
i think i know too much.
i think i think too much.
i grew up too fast and too slow.
time moves like the waves of the sea, swallowing me whole.
am i in too deep now?
October 2, 2024
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
I try to piece back what I remember
I havent done it in so long
Yet it still feels like I've grown
I feel thicker
It still feels like I've changed
& that I haven't changed at all
But I have
Im older
Im wiser (maybe)
There's new drawings on my skin and my hair is shorter
You can't have it anymore
It wasn't even that long ago
I was alone in my room
With my papers and pens
I only knew you through a screen
I listened to this music
I was so small
Through it all
It still feels good to move
Maybe that's the constant
You didn't make me an artist
I've been in this world since the day I was born
I can't let you grow synonimous with it in my mind
I can't let you take that from me
I have always been here
I am grateful for what you gave me and what you taught me
But you are not all of it
I am all of it
I can't forget that
No one can take that from me
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
I try to piece back what I remember
I havent done it in so long
Yet it still feels like I've grown
I feel thicker
It still feels like I've changed
& that I haven't changed at all
But I have
Im older
Im wiser (maybe)
There's new drawings on my skin and my hair is shorter
You can't have it anymore
It wasn't even that long ago
I was alone in my room
With my papers and pens
I only knew you through a screen
I listened to this music
I was so small
Through it all
It still feels good to move
Maybe that's the constant
You didn't make me an artist
I've been in this world since the day I was born
I can't let you grow synonimous with it in my mind
I can't let you take that from me
I have always been here
I am grateful for what you gave me and what you taught me
But you are not all of it
I am all of it
I can't forget that
No one can take that from me
October 7, 2024
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
crying for no reason
maybe its my social anxiety
maybe its that i fell asleep without taking my meds last night
maybe its the fact that its been a year
and im crying for stupid reasons and not cause everything i know is gone
maybe its because of my period
maybe its becuase i hate that im crying
i hate being told im emotional
i worry my little brother sees me as a hysteric bitch of a sister
and thats just how it goes
and none of it matters
cause people are dying on the streets
and their red blood pierces through my screen
maybe its because i hate the fact that ive gotten so used to it
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
crying for no reason
maybe its my social anxiety
maybe its that i fell asleep without taking my meds last night
maybe its the fact that its been a year
and im crying for stupid reasons and not cause everything i know is gone
maybe its because of my period
maybe its becuase i hate that im crying
i hate being told im emotional
i worry my little brother sees me as a hysteric bitch of a sister
and thats just how it goes
and none of it matters
cause people are dying on the streets
and their red blood pierces through my screen
maybe its because i hate the fact that ive gotten so used to it
October 12, 2024
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
oh good for you
you got something out of all of that
you got someone out of all of that
all i got were memories
and then you left me alone
you destroyed my world and left me alone
more alone than ever
i thought we were friends
i really did
i know your not the one i should be mad at
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
oh good for you
you got something out of all of that
you got someone out of all of that
all i got were memories
and then you left me alone
you destroyed my world and left me alone
more alone than ever
i thought we were friends
i really did
i know your not the one i should be mad at
